Honey Funnies

Welcome! Welcome!

This is my new segment called "Honey Funnies".

[cause this blog is totally organized with segments.]

Where I highlight my glorious husband and how wonderful and often hilarious it is to live with him!

Please keep in mind that my beloved Giant is a very sincere person. Which makes his genuine thoughts and feelings completely endear me to him on a daily basis.

[February 23rd, 2012:]

t~

"You're funny!

.....funny looking!"

*pauses contemplating the genius...*

"That is the best diss ever!"

[February 28th, 2012:]

Tommy set his computer down at 9:24 p.m. exclaiming,

"This [homework] is so boring, I'm falling asleep. Wake me up in 20 minutes."

It is now 11:51 p.m. and after many failed attempts to wake my giant, I am somehow going to get him to sleep walk from his current location (knotted up on our love seat) to our bed.

12:36 a.m., so far no luck on the sleep walking. But I did manage to rouse him by trying to change him into his pajamas : )

t ~

"What are you doing, Woman?!"

[February 29th, 2012:]

Tommy and I were discussing 'being able to "handle" emotion-inducing content in books. I am finishing the third book in The Hunger Games series.

t ~

"I'm not always positive you're not going to pee yourself or something."

c ~

"While reading a book..?"

t ~

"You never know."

[March 5th, 2012:]

t ~

"Sometimes I wonder how much telekinetic powers we actually do have."

[March 10th 2012:]

A text conversation between the best husband ever and his working wife who gets home later than him.

t ~

"What do you want for dinner?"

c ~

"I don't know what I want, what are you in the mood for?"

t ~

"You ask me that every day. Woman up and tell me what to cook you Honey."

"Fine. I'm just going to have to cook you up everything in the house until I can find something you want. You said you were hungry today."

[April 17th, 2012:]

t ~

"What do you want for dinner"

c ~

"I want rice and asian stuff : )

t ~

"Okay, what kind of rice? Just rice or fried rice? What kind of Asian food? I could look something up."

~ This is my man. Adventurous. Sweet. and Hilarious. ~

I know. I'm a lucky ape.

6 AM Is No Time For Pictures

Once upon a time,

my dear friend Janell Hunt completed a work out program called "Insanity".

And she posted her accomplishment on facebook and said she was in "the best shape of her life".

Which sounds really spectacular, don't you think?


I thought to myself, I am 22 years old! I should be in the best shape of my life!


So I scouted it out, and it was expensive, and the reviews on amazon said it was hard, hard, hard.

But I was emboldened yet. My knees aren't deteriorating! My heart is strong! I eat cheerios!


Plus the overweight man who reviewed the program on amazon was dedicated and he sweated through insanity TWICE. And his determination was outright moving. I would do the whole thing just for him. Whoever he is.


For four months, I waited. Looking for a good deal. But more importantly, looking for a job.


Then I got a job and two weeks ago....a GREAT deal was found!


Becca was a champ to go with me to pick it up from some {really ripped} dude I found on Craigslist.
[It was broad daylight, in the middle of a well-trafficked parking lot, don't you nakies worry.]

Becca said the transaction was akin to a dope deal haha...the guy had a whole bunch of the dvd's and had apparently set up appointments with several people other than me. Folks were pulling up all over the place to cash in and get exercising.

But I didn't ask questions. I had mine! And it was legit! The ticket to the Best Shape of My Life!


I returned from Alisa Grace's wedding on Saturday night, and the program has you start on a Monday so 6AM this Monday morning; I started.

First day, is the Fit Test. Which they don't grade you on...but I definitely flunked.

7 minutes in I almost puked in our sink that doesn't have a disposal. Ew.

My mind felt competent, I could do those moves! But my body started a teenage rage speech..

"You woke me up at 6 AM!
You haven't fed me breakfast!
Where's my chocolate milk and my warm shower?
You don't understand me at all!
Why don't you stop and let me climb back in bed with Tommy?
You're ruining my life!!"


I said,
Tomorrow will be better...our overweight man friend on amazon [who I will now be calling Paulie Chrysanthemum] did it!
We can do it!

And my body said,
...Fine.
But if that stupid chick on the videos keeps acting downright perky like she eats Insanity for desserts and vacations, I'm going to punch her.

I said,
Deal. She is annoying.


~ Two Days Later ~ ~ ~

I am currently on day 3 of the work outs, and I know I won't give up in the next 64 days. I love the progress I am making! I didn't even fast forward through anything today! ; )

Stairs and I are not friends right now though.

I limp up and down them like a wounded kangaroo.



p.s. Gareth, who used to work where I work, said talking to yourself is normal. But if you answer yourself out loud, you are mentally crazy.

I told him prove it.

I only answer myself in writing...

Just a little....Anniversary!

YES it has been slightly over 365 days since we were sealed/married and ate a lot of cheesecake with our most beloved loved ones!


Tommy and I were lucky to score a 3 day weekend (off from my work) and a warm 72 hours in Rexburg for our celebrations. It was a much needed reprieve and so refreshing!

We spent all of Saturday morning outside at the park and it was absolutely glorious!!

Tommy packed us a picnic, the awesome book we've been reading, a quilt, frisbee's, slingshots, and a ball and gloves. Did I mention he is stellar?

First, Tommy played catch and I played runaftertheball. I was not so glorious.

Because A.) Tommy thinks I'm 7 ft tall or can at least jump few inches...
B.) The whole catching with a glove thing where you are supposed to use the additional three inches past your fingertips to catch the ball...severely confuses my hand.

Luckily there were several small children at the playground 80 feet away who were more than willing to retrieve the baseball and carry it to me at least 10 of the feet : )

THEN

we officially gave our *sling shot christmas presents* a go using local pinecones as ammunition.

We successfully avoided hitting anyone in the face and perfected our aiming skills.

Tommy had to show me how to hold the slingshot and pinecone for optimal release speed. I am 100% better than I was before however I don't think I could kill any birds quite yet. I'd probably just make them mad if I got anywhere close to hitting them.

[no we aren't planning on using our slingshots to kill birds but if you could kill a bird with a slingshot you would be REALLY good and I'd salute you before giving you the stink eye for murdering Tweetie's cousins.]



Then we ate our lovely picnic and read our book and soaked in some sun!

Eventually we ran away to the movie theater where we plotted our devious return 4 hours later.
4 hours later I smuggled snacks (vanilla yogurt + granola) into The Hunger Games and clutched Tommy's arm through the entire 2 hours.

Isn't it crazy how you can read an entire series and know everything that's going to happen to every character and still sit in the theatre and freak out through all the tense parts?



Sunday we went to church and spent time with our nursery kiddos whom we love : )

One of the 2 year old girls cracked up in the middle of the coloring time, turned to me and chuckled "I farted!". We. Love. Them. All.

It's hilarious to be in a class of all girls. They stir up drama and fight over babies and whose hair clip is whose. And they have giggling fits and like to twirl in their dresses and they LOVE Tommy : )


After church we built a fortress!




And Tommy cooked up a bajillion delicious onion rings:





And my stupid dough did...nothing:



For hours! It refused to rise! So I baked it anyway!

My rolls were definitely more dense than I'd hoped, but still super tasty.


We read more of our book and snuggled and watched our t.v. shows and had the best time just spending all day together : )

I'd say a definitely delicious anniversary vacation.


Plus there was Apple-Mango Bubbly. What?!

Try it.

Confession:

Pink is my pop-up shoulder devil.

The singer. Not the color, come on nakies.

I'm not saying that when faced with a decision, Pink pops up and tells me to do bad, selfish stuff. She just pops up and says, "Hey Carly, listen to this awesome song I wrote. You'll feel better girl." [edited version. Pink uses harsher language with her peeps. which I am one of.]

And then I do it and get distracted by how awesome and punk-rocker I am. I even think I'm a funny punkster and not at all that bad.

But it's just the Pink in me. Or at least, on my shoulder.

All I'm saying is, Oprah is pretty cool, lots of ladies in this world feel a sisterly connection with her, they'd probably hug her if they had the chance, but Pink's my girl. I'd hug her. Or have her back in a dark alley against other punk-peeps. Whatever.


Rock out nakies. To whatever makes you happy.

*Mornings*

Every morning Mr. Wonderful has school.

And guess who doesn't? Ha ha!


Tommy wakes up and while he gets ready for the day, I SLEEP IN! Delicious.

Then I pop out of bed 5 minutes before he needs to go, throw on 5 more layers of clothes and drive him to school.

When I get back, the house is empty and warm and lit by twinkle lights. It's beautiful, but it's quiet and lonely without my man inside. So I have to entertain myself.

Especially when I'm in our bathroom. Our bathroom has one of those handy dandy light-switch fans that doesn't let you choose between lights or fan because BOOM it does both at once. It's kind of like being inside of a cyclone. (I'm imagining...).

So because I can't hear myself think, I feel like I can be louder with my voice when I'm in there. I like to bang around the doors of the cupboard as I get out my toothbrush and makeup and make loud impressions of loud people. Like Thor.

"HEIMDAALLL! OPEN THE BIFROST!!!"


Then, I check my "rage" face in the mirror to see if I'm good. I'm not quite there yet.



"HEIMDAALLLL!!!"



Last week, (thanks to Aubrey and Jon taking us to see the Muppets Movie), I had a life changing realization that I am the Swedish Chef whenever I brush my teeth!

I am rather notorious for trying to talk to people while I'm brushing my teeth because I think I can still make intelligible conversation. I think after living with me for a year or two, maybe I do become easier to understand...but! After Tommy said "WHAT?" for the third time from inside the shower, I started impersonating the Swedish chef by giving in to the natural mumble of my toothbrush and paste filled mouth and I'm him!

Minus the chickens.

Look How Fancy! ...It's Christmas!

We have been mischievous, little, gypsies.

Half short and half tall. And ALL the way fancy.




Since December 16th Tommy and I haven't lived in the same place for more than four days straight. We've been sneaking around, living everywhere!! Fancy gypsies.




We've stayed in the posh, luxury homes of so many friends and family, seeing so many loved ones, it has been amazing!

Thank you so much to Grandma and Grandpa White, Aubrey and Jon, David and Mindy, Merry and Ryan, Jameson and Becky, Mom and Dad Ranck, Jonesy and Tierra, Brenton, Jessica and Adam, Aunt Jen, Aunt LiAnn, Jordan and Shaun, Momma and Daddy and of course, all of the children and pets we've upset the natural life-rhythms of by being in their air space. We loved visiting with you all. How I wish I had stationary and addresses at a time like this! Imagine cute thank you cards!


We were so blessed and so pampered this Christmas. There is truly nothing like this wonderful season where Christ's spirit is felt and shared by so many people.

Babies have been born into the family: Congratulations Melanie and Aaron! And Rachel and Nate!
Wonderfully long and beautiful marriages have been celebrated: WOOHOOO Grandma and Grandpa!
And I am reminded of how beautiful life is right now, and how precious it was to have lived yesterday, and how fantastic it will be to wake up tomorrow morning and be able to live some more!

Everyone's lives are changing all the time, so it is truly a blessing when we get to be there for snippets in the lives of those we love so much. We've made a lot of memories in the past month : )

The Newlyweds

Oh The Newlyweds, how are The Newlyweds?

Those Steinkuhlers.


Well, Tommy is sitting on our new Xtra long couch, eating Honey Nut Cheerios straight from the bag while squinting at a miniature copy of Justice League Sinister Imitation like it's the most engrossing textbook on his college required list.

No, Jon and Jamo, it is sadly not on his required reading list.
I believe he got it for free from the darn box of cheerios.

He and I have eaten breakfast, lunch, supper, dessert AND I have promised him a night of our favorite t.v. shows if he gets his homework done but he is opting for choice number 2: cheerios and Justice League.


I am snuggled next to him wearing 3 layers of clothes, a blanket and a toasty laptop learning about Thai Peanut Sauce and How Best To Apply Red Lipstick and work it all-the-live-long-day because I, dear Nakies, have gone domestic.

DOMESTIC.

In that I have once again acquired a place of my own = I am the only woman in this whole house!

I have decided that one man and one woman can live in a shared space quite nicely and it can feel like theirs to both of them.

But toss another woman into the mix, and it's infringement. All of a sudden territories need to be marked. Give me the tape. And heavens, please! Sharpie my name on my milk!

Toss another man into the mix, and it's annoying.
Honey, I just got you accustomed to my weird ways [i.e. "Rules" and "Demands for Sanity"], now I have to do it again? He's just not getting it!


Now Tommy leaves me alone all day and my mind goes crazy with the possibilities.

What can I cook for dinner!
I could make anything!
I don't even have to wear pants!
I can watch a full movie in the middle of the day!
I can leave the milk out and put it back when I want to!
MARGGHHH Chocolate milk for breakfaaast!!!


Am I searching for jobs?
Yes.
Have I called a whole bunch of people and asked necessary and undesirable questions?
Yes!
Did I have a mini break down when I applied online to KFC and Pizza Hut?
YES! ...who wouldn't?


Have I gone business to business with my resume?
Not yet.
I may be able to smell the future cheese stuck in my shoe traction from working in Greasy Hut, but baby, it's cold outside. Domestic does not equal desperate.

I'm actually quite hopeful : )

I am momentarily unemployed, and I feel good about it. I'm making progress even though it's slow.
My baby is in college and he's taking it on like a wizard.

We've got great food to eat every day and a bed every night. We could even sleep on the couch! Options baby!


Kisses and hugs to everyone!