Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Thought November 3rd

You know those moments when you manage to do something extremely coordinated,

dare I say skillful

such as catching an object just before it falls,

blocking a thrown marshmallow without even looking,

flipping a kiwi skin perfectly onto an annoying mans forehead,


and you think to yourself

I. am. AWESOME.



these are rare moments of joy that I'm sure everyone enjoys.



But what about Jackie Chan?



He has to be a different story

because I am pretty sure he is awesome, coordinated AND skillful all the time.

Does his awesomeness still cause him to pause and laugh "Ha! That was cool!" ?


or does he just slide down buildings

jump up fences

float across floors in push-up position


and think

'now where did I put my wallet last night?'



I was just wondering.

seeing as how I was just chowing down on a plate of mexican food
and my fork started to slip
and I thought I'd just do a fancy flick of the wrist
and pop it up in my hand again

but instead I managed to flip it out of my hand and into the air

where it did a 360˚

and landed squatly

in mis arroz y frijoles.


Ay Yi Yi.

jackie chan probably stopped having these moments of uncoolness when he was three.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Some Truths

You know that moment sometimes creeps up on you when you're in a group of at least three people,
who obviously aren't your best of best friends,
and you say something without thinking,
and one person throws it back at you like undesirable cabbage
and you realize 'oh, that may not have been the smartest thing to say'
but being a prideful human,
you try to save face for a minute
by blowing it off
or sticking up for your idiot self
or distracting the attacker by presenting them with something stupid they've done recently

but then another person joins in
not on your side of course
after all, you are the idiot/possible jerk in this scenario
and no matter how you may try to get around it
you shouldn't have said what you did

inevitably, within seconds, someone else jumps in
also not on your side
and you know the battle has been lost
you can feel an unwanted blush warm your face
and you try as hastily as possible to concede your inaccuracy
bow out gracefully
unload the swift, undesirable attention

but the people around you are still so shocked at what you've blundered out,
that they feel the need to jab you a few more times
kick ya while you're down
in new, slightly more creative ways

and you kind of wish you could get mad at them
say 'get over it already!'
but you know,
they aren't in the mood for your attitude on top of your stupidity.

so you sit there trying to seep your 'cool' back into your veins
keeping quiet for a while
like a scared rabbit among blood hounds

I hate that.



-

You know that millisecond right after you see one of your friends
or possibly a small cat
get hurt

not in a terribly serious sort of way,
but in a smacked in the face,
fell off a chair,
ran into a wall
sort of way.

and you feel bad
because
well gee that probably hurt.

but man, for some reason it is just fantastically

hilarious.

and you can't help but laugh
for a really
ridiculously long time

because the more you think about it,
the more you can see it playing over and over in your head:
the funnier it gets.

and they don't believe you feel badly for them at all

because,
well you are still laughing when you say
"oh.. I'm so so...rry that happen...ed to you, ....are you ok?"

but you really DO feel bad.



I do that all the time.
I find it insanely funny.



: ) click the smiley for some laughs
--