Shadows don't shed light.
Doubts, mistakes, idiocies cannot be trusted to teach a lesson about light.
Darkness teaches of darkness.
We must know more than where the darkness starts and leads.
We must know where the light beckons and is born.
If we hold the shadows before us to remind us where we've been,
our path is marred, our vision blurred, and steps are sure to stumble.
Render to darkness it's shadows, leave them behind.
Render to light your trust that you can be enough with it, and that your sights don't need to be anywhere else.
Light will show us everything we need to know.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Weekends Barely Tolerate Sitting Next to Mondays
It all began with a bachelorette party.
This was my first since getting married, and let me tell you, when you're no longer single, but you've barely smudged off the "Just Married" sticker on your forehead, you sit in never-never-land with a lot of cookies.
Luckily Becca, Lynnea and Alisa Grace didn't shun me because of marriedness, they only jokingly said I should mingle with all the other married ladies in attendance...who I did not know.
I ended up telling these three friends what I've just recently come to know about marriage only to hear an hour later from a 4 year married woman what she knows about marriage.
You know it's funny, I'd pegged her for a reserved mormon wife at the start but by the end of the night she was telling me all about 'snake bats' and how "They don't care if you're tired, they don't care if you're in the garage, or in your parents house, men. don't. care."
Did I die laughing?
Yes naked apes. Mostly I did. Except for the dying part.
It only took me two more hours, and a re-telling to Tommy to figure out that the snake bat she'd been talking about wasn't the toy, flying, blind, echo-location kind, but the toy, baseball-hitting kind. Duh.
Moral of the story is apes, I'm too young, I'm too old, I'm too naive, and I'm too married, I'm not married enough, and I'll understand when I'm older, meanwhile I'm pretty sure I'm older than I was, and I'm certain I've been around three year olds for too long because I'm losing touch with adults.
All well, Tommy's still young :)
This evening I sat in bed with a carton of milk, eating Chocolate Chip cookies from the package, and when Tommy figured out what I'd done, he actually said I hadn't eaten as many as he'd expected and carried on the festivities with me while we started F.H.E.
In case you are wondering, this is reason 2,000,003 why we fit.
On another note, Naked Apes, I'm graduating from college this Friday.
Do you have any idea how weird that is? I don't have a plan after this. A vague one yes, but not a fill-in-the-cracks one. I know I want to read. Deeply. I want to start somewhere really far back in ancient Greece and Rome and work my way up through the greatest thinkers, creators, dreamers, and artists of all time.
Really, I want to start my education. But I'm afraid I'll lose all my gumption as soon as the responsibility sets in of internships and jobs and getting my baby through college. But it's little plans like this that make taking on all of the new roles and responsibilities not so scary. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter that I don't feel grown or grown up. It doesn't matter that my recipe box has a total of four recipes in it, or that I don't have a single "woman" outfit in my closet.
Tommy's teaching me life is for living. No one up there ever said the greatest thing we'll ever do is grow up. I figure if I end up a little bit wise, wrinkly, imaginative, awestruck and childlike at heart, I'll have done something right.
Oh Nakies, I've got a long way to go.
p.s. Tommy is sleeping right next to me, and has been for the past 2.5 hours. He is so cute. His toes stick off the end of the bed, he's got a blanket wrapped around his middle, he's snuggled his head into his yoda pillow and his hair is sticking up wildly like sunflower leaves yearning for the light of our bed-lamp : ) I would have taken pictures of him at ten minute intervals this whole time if I knew how to charge his camera. Alas, you'll just have to picture him in your heads. Sweet dreams. Don't forget your prayers tonight, as I've recently re-learned, God loves midnight chats with his children.
This was my first since getting married, and let me tell you, when you're no longer single, but you've barely smudged off the "Just Married" sticker on your forehead, you sit in never-never-land with a lot of cookies.
Luckily Becca, Lynnea and Alisa Grace didn't shun me because of marriedness, they only jokingly said I should mingle with all the other married ladies in attendance...who I did not know.
I ended up telling these three friends what I've just recently come to know about marriage only to hear an hour later from a 4 year married woman what she knows about marriage.
You know it's funny, I'd pegged her for a reserved mormon wife at the start but by the end of the night she was telling me all about 'snake bats' and how "They don't care if you're tired, they don't care if you're in the garage, or in your parents house, men. don't. care."
Did I die laughing?
Yes naked apes. Mostly I did. Except for the dying part.
It only took me two more hours, and a re-telling to Tommy to figure out that the snake bat she'd been talking about wasn't the toy, flying, blind, echo-location kind, but the toy, baseball-hitting kind. Duh.
Moral of the story is apes, I'm too young, I'm too old, I'm too naive, and I'm too married, I'm not married enough, and I'll understand when I'm older, meanwhile I'm pretty sure I'm older than I was, and I'm certain I've been around three year olds for too long because I'm losing touch with adults.
All well, Tommy's still young :)
This evening I sat in bed with a carton of milk, eating Chocolate Chip cookies from the package, and when Tommy figured out what I'd done, he actually said I hadn't eaten as many as he'd expected and carried on the festivities with me while we started F.H.E.
In case you are wondering, this is reason 2,000,003 why we fit.
On another note, Naked Apes, I'm graduating from college this Friday.
Do you have any idea how weird that is? I don't have a plan after this. A vague one yes, but not a fill-in-the-cracks one. I know I want to read. Deeply. I want to start somewhere really far back in ancient Greece and Rome and work my way up through the greatest thinkers, creators, dreamers, and artists of all time.
Really, I want to start my education. But I'm afraid I'll lose all my gumption as soon as the responsibility sets in of internships and jobs and getting my baby through college. But it's little plans like this that make taking on all of the new roles and responsibilities not so scary. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it doesn't matter that I don't feel grown or grown up. It doesn't matter that my recipe box has a total of four recipes in it, or that I don't have a single "woman" outfit in my closet.
Tommy's teaching me life is for living. No one up there ever said the greatest thing we'll ever do is grow up. I figure if I end up a little bit wise, wrinkly, imaginative, awestruck and childlike at heart, I'll have done something right.
Oh Nakies, I've got a long way to go.
p.s. Tommy is sleeping right next to me, and has been for the past 2.5 hours. He is so cute. His toes stick off the end of the bed, he's got a blanket wrapped around his middle, he's snuggled his head into his yoda pillow and his hair is sticking up wildly like sunflower leaves yearning for the light of our bed-lamp : ) I would have taken pictures of him at ten minute intervals this whole time if I knew how to charge his camera. Alas, you'll just have to picture him in your heads. Sweet dreams. Don't forget your prayers tonight, as I've recently re-learned, God loves midnight chats with his children.
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Marriage is...
...Like synchronized swimming.
...the discovery of just how much toilet paper YOU use! No one else. Because you are the only girl now.
...Like speaking swaheelee when you don't even know how to spell it and your roommate is speaking latin.
...Like trying to exit a door that has a latch on both sides and your darling re-locks it every time you unlock it because the more you try to come out the funnier it gets to him until you're both laughing and you can see the twinkles in his eyes when he finally swings it open : )
...LOVING your morning dose of chocolate milk because he made it for you and it's perfect and perfectly delicious.
...Stealing all the covers, and losing all your pillows.
...Snapshots of perfection blowing by your face so fast sometimes you miss them. But you catch as many as you can and staple them to the walls to watch the best scene you've ever witnessed.
...Getting super excited to come home and go absolutely nowhere.
...Like rowing crew.
...Constantly remembering someone other than yourself.
...Like balancing with a giant on top of a pencil point.
...Realizing your own inexperience and hopelessly flawed nature and then realizing you can become wonderful together.
...Perfect. Like a dance. Difficult, requiring hours of patience, questions, listening, practice, stumbling, remembering, learning.
...Laughing and giggling and snorting and running around the house screaming and rubber band wars and late night chats and snuggling and tricking a giant into taking a nap with you and talking in your sleep and being a sassafrass and being so in love even if you're angry or tired or frustrated or happier than butterflies with mangoes.
...Life and love however you make it.
...the discovery of just how much toilet paper YOU use! No one else. Because you are the only girl now.
...Like speaking swaheelee when you don't even know how to spell it and your roommate is speaking latin.
...Like trying to exit a door that has a latch on both sides and your darling re-locks it every time you unlock it because the more you try to come out the funnier it gets to him until you're both laughing and you can see the twinkles in his eyes when he finally swings it open : )
...LOVING your morning dose of chocolate milk because he made it for you and it's perfect and perfectly delicious.
...Stealing all the covers, and losing all your pillows.
...Snapshots of perfection blowing by your face so fast sometimes you miss them. But you catch as many as you can and staple them to the walls to watch the best scene you've ever witnessed.
...Getting super excited to come home and go absolutely nowhere.
...Like rowing crew.
...Constantly remembering someone other than yourself.
...Like balancing with a giant on top of a pencil point.
...Realizing your own inexperience and hopelessly flawed nature and then realizing you can become wonderful together.
...Perfect. Like a dance. Difficult, requiring hours of patience, questions, listening, practice, stumbling, remembering, learning.
...Laughing and giggling and snorting and running around the house screaming and rubber band wars and late night chats and snuggling and tricking a giant into taking a nap with you and talking in your sleep and being a sassafrass and being so in love even if you're angry or tired or frustrated or happier than butterflies with mangoes.
...Life and love however you make it.
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