Thought November 3rd

You know those moments when you manage to do something extremely coordinated,

dare I say skillful

such as catching an object just before it falls,

blocking a thrown marshmallow without even looking,

flipping a kiwi skin perfectly onto an annoying mans forehead,


and you think to yourself

I. am. AWESOME.



these are rare moments of joy that I'm sure everyone enjoys.



But what about Jackie Chan?



He has to be a different story

because I am pretty sure he is awesome, coordinated AND skillful all the time.

Does his awesomeness still cause him to pause and laugh "Ha! That was cool!" ?


or does he just slide down buildings

jump up fences

float across floors in push-up position


and think

'now where did I put my wallet last night?'



I was just wondering.

seeing as how I was just chowing down on a plate of mexican food
and my fork started to slip
and I thought I'd just do a fancy flick of the wrist
and pop it up in my hand again

but instead I managed to flip it out of my hand and into the air

where it did a 360˚

and landed squatly

in mis arroz y frijoles.


Ay Yi Yi.

jackie chan probably stopped having these moments of uncoolness when he was three.

Some Truths

You know that moment sometimes creeps up on you when you're in a group of at least three people,
who obviously aren't your best of best friends,
and you say something without thinking,
and one person throws it back at you like undesirable cabbage
and you realize 'oh, that may not have been the smartest thing to say'
but being a prideful human,
you try to save face for a minute
by blowing it off
or sticking up for your idiot self
or distracting the attacker by presenting them with something stupid they've done recently

but then another person joins in
not on your side of course
after all, you are the idiot/possible jerk in this scenario
and no matter how you may try to get around it
you shouldn't have said what you did

inevitably, within seconds, someone else jumps in
also not on your side
and you know the battle has been lost
you can feel an unwanted blush warm your face
and you try as hastily as possible to concede your inaccuracy
bow out gracefully
unload the swift, undesirable attention

but the people around you are still so shocked at what you've blundered out,
that they feel the need to jab you a few more times
kick ya while you're down
in new, slightly more creative ways

and you kind of wish you could get mad at them
say 'get over it already!'
but you know,
they aren't in the mood for your attitude on top of your stupidity.

so you sit there trying to seep your 'cool' back into your veins
keeping quiet for a while
like a scared rabbit among blood hounds

I hate that.



-

You know that millisecond right after you see one of your friends
or possibly a small cat
get hurt

not in a terribly serious sort of way,
but in a smacked in the face,
fell off a chair,
ran into a wall
sort of way.

and you feel bad
because
well gee that probably hurt.

but man, for some reason it is just fantastically

hilarious.

and you can't help but laugh
for a really
ridiculously long time

because the more you think about it,
the more you can see it playing over and over in your head:
the funnier it gets.

and they don't believe you feel badly for them at all

because,
well you are still laughing when you say
"oh.. I'm so so...rry that happen...ed to you, ....are you ok?"

but you really DO feel bad.



I do that all the time.
I find it insanely funny.


: ) click the smiley for some laughs
--

Poetry for the Naked Apes

Fallowing Pages


I'm sorting my shirts
between the seasons
placing my boy band cd's
in boxes
with robes grown old.
I'm shipping off my
childish trinkets;
broken seashells,
forgotten birthday cards,
journals never written in,
phonebooks glittering and empty.
I'm packing away
the stuffed mammal faces
whose fur are well-loved,
worn shaggy and thin.
I'm hanging new coats
donning cozy, warm sweaters
boxers and glasses
sipping cider
barefoot in my downy bed.
Tipping the brim of 20,
saying good morning to newspapers
and novels thick with intellect.
Not minding the transition
the newest mirror image reminds.
Growing up finally fitting
as a stage to last.






------




Mover




I've never raised my middle finger
to a person
or an establishment
or a cause.
I've never hated so terribly that
my tongue has run foul.
I do dream of love.
I hold respect for our government.
Imperfect as it is.
I know I am nothing
because I know there is a God.
And in Him lies our greatest possibility.
I have hope in my heart.
I want to be a mother.
I walk down streets in cities and towns
and see souls in the bodies
of beggars,
beauty in the writings stained
on cement walls.
I honor my parents.
I bake, and clean,
and change my own tires.
I look forward to breathing in
the stories of my elders,
rejoicing in their lives
past and present.
I giggle.
I do not use my pen to kill,
to uproot or destroy.
I write to coax dew onto mornings,
smile creases into faces.
Drawing minds to blossom
not to a grinding stone.
If that makes me soft.
If that makes me cliche.
If that makes me conformist,
Wrap me up
ship me out
Give every body in this land
the choice to open me up
and vote.

Maybe they could do
with a bit of joy.
Maybe being happy
is not being blind.
Maybe it is a greater work
to abdicate anger.
Maybe understanding is more
than knowledge plus attitude.
Maybe this 'black soul'
that you love so much
that you've deemed so rich,
could use a couple angel tears
to loose the grime,
and slip in a little light.




----

I'm not one to PMS into an insane rage

But I am a girl.

and sometimes during weeks such as these,

I just want to lie in bed all day long

watch t.v. shows,

and eat breakfast foods magically prepared by someone other than myself.



And occasionally,

I just want to cry.

Because all of a sudden it feels like the world is absolutely terrible,

and every thing is going wrong.

And then I realize,

my life is great

and crying as if it isn't simply doesn't make any sense.



Boys wonder why they don't understand girls.

But the truth is, girls don't even understand girls sometimes.

And I'll be the first to admit,

being a spirit in an occasional emotionally insane body,

can be a little scary and annoying.



happy thursday everybody.

I Battled a Cup of Milk Before Church This Morning

Let me just cut to the chase and tell you: I lost.


How?

I tipped it off the top shelf of the frigidaire in my haste to obtain cinnamon rolls.

It instantly whitewashed every shelf below it,

plunged into everything within six inches of each shelf's edge,

(including a still liquid, raspberry-blue jello)

created a four foot fan out across the kitchen floor,

and spat on me

from the tips of my hair,

all the way

d
o
w
n

to

my shoe-covered toes.



I did not get to singles ward for sacrament.
Why?
Because that is 20 minutes away
and my home ward is only 2 minutes.
Cleaning up the milk's aftermath ate too many minutes.

I lost to the milk, but I still managed to shove a cinnamon roll into my newly outfitted self.

Not a complete defeat : )


p.s. milky jello is not such a bad thing. Especially when you put whipped cream on top.


-------


My Brother is a Piano Playing Genius




If you don't know by now, my brother is 16. His name is Derek.

And he is a piano playing genius.

Today he was supposed to play a hymnal medley in sacrament.

He forgot until last night when my mother reminded him.

I went to bed listening to him playing through possibilities.

Today we are sitting in church and they announce the next few items on the program.

A speaker, and then a musical number by Derek.

I look over at him, smiling,

I was about to ask him what the hymns were going to be when he picks up a hymnal and says

'now I need to pick out what I'm playing'

I know he is not joking.
It shouldn't have, but my jaw dropped open a little bit.

I've seen him do this many times.
Forget or procrastinate planning for something he's been asked to do,
and then finding himself needing to pull something musical and amazing out of thin air.

Within 5 minutes he had found a blue piece of paper,
and a pencil,
and written down the names of four songs,
in the order he would play them in.

Some of them not hymns, but songs from animated church movies.

In which case he just wrote the name of the movie it played in.

10 minutes later the speaker sat down,

Derek got up,

placed his blue sheet on the pianos' music stand,

and played a truly beautiful and amazing medley that brought the spirit strongly into the room, and hearts of the congregation.

I didn't know whether to cry,
or laugh in amazement at what he was pulling off with such brilliant success.

I can't wait to read all of the similar stories I know he will write home while he's on his mission, where coming up with talks and musical numbers on the spot is a common occurrence : )




-----



After Church (and then choir) I Set Sail in my Jeep



I was homeward bound and plunging home under the yellowing leaves of fall.

I sped up a bit to the crescendoing notes of Mozart's 22nd Piano Concerto,

carving beautifully around a corner,

and past a yawning mexican on a park bench.

I laughed at the classical station man who rants reverently about all music classic.

Happy because:

I got to hear him verbally idolize mozart.

I talked to and met more people at church,

I found out Lemon's middle name is STEWART,

I sang in choir,

and I knew I was bounding home to family and pot roast : )

Absolute Adorations

All in one day : )


~ waking up early, showering and GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE

~ that feeling of pure bodily joy that happens right after you've been active/working out.
Strangely enough, always makes me want desserts with chocolate in them.
Reason number three of why I enjoy drinking milkshakes while working out.
But today, I RESISTED! So maybe I'm even happier : )


~ slipping on rough and prickly gloves that smell strongly of dirt,
picking up a rake,
hoisting some buckets onto your shoulder,
and setting off across the yard.

It feels so right : )


~ eating tuna cheese melts stuffed with: lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes.
especially amazing when you've been active and hungry for hours.
and your hands finally feel clean : )
so good!


~ feeling full and drowsy at 2:30 pm and realizing,
not only are you already in your bed,
but this is the normal time when normal people take naps!
AND YOU HAVE TIME TO TAKE ONE!

so you do : )


~ falling asleep for your nap
feeling warm
and cozy
and knowing:

you are going to eat a cinnamon roll when you wake up : )


It doesn't get much better than this : )

I even read the Book of Mormon this morning : )

yep.

all of it.


just kidding... : )

happy birthday mom

I love my mother. And yesterday was her birthday.

so to celebrate, I'm sharing this fantastic story about her for all the naked apes out there.


In this story, my brother, mother and I are mulling around our living room.

We are chatting about our days and traveling between couches and kitchen counters as we do so. Whoever said talking and eating don't go together, really missed out on some immediate joys.

Derek [my brother] makes a reference to something I don't recall seeing, I voice my confusion, he see's my mother has a laptop precariously positioned on her lap, and he immediately asks her to bring up a new page.
Direct it to youtube.com.
And allow him to show me what he was talking about.

She does so, the page pops up, and the next thing I know her 'appalled voice' goes "agh!" and starts voicing her disgust with youtube.

~mom~
"This happens to me every time! Whenever I go here, there are naked women posted everywhere! How can you guys use this cite?!"

~derek and I~ exchange confused looks

~derek~
"What are you talking about?"

~mom~
"When you pull up youtube, do you see women with....NOTHING on, posted on the screen?!"

~derek~
"....I have my own account so it just goes straight to my home page..."

~carly~ still extremely confused and trying to remember if naked women had ever popped up when she used youtube...the ads can get a bit sketchy at times but...

~carly~
"I have my own account too...but it doesn't go straight to my account page..."

~mom~
"I hate using it because it happens to me every time! I have to get to youtube through a link on the church website!"

~carly~ thinks...oh mother. that really isn't necessary...

~derek~ goes over to her laptop once my mom has minimized the page and the bad pictures are gone

takes him two seconds and he discovers the problem.

~derek~
"Mom,
that's not how you spell youtube."

~mom~
"...It isn't?"

~derek~
"No. Youtube is spelled y-o-u-t-u-b-e."

then the amazingly hilarious moment happens.

~my mother realizes she has been going straight to a porn site whenever she wanted to go to youtube.~


Derek and I laugh for a long time : )

my mom joins in the laughter slightly after we do
and expresses her relief that we weren't viewing pornography.


ah mommy.
I do so enjoy you : )
happy birthday : )


p.s. naked naked apes, please give my mother and her patchy computing skills a break, and put some clothes on.