Cleaning Windows Makes My Fingers Dirty

Naked Apes: Updates:

~ It is officially December, and my favorite time of year.
~ We have a real christmas tree. I do not believe in fake ones in my living room. [that is not an update, simply fact.]
~ We have wrapped presents under said tree.
~ I've mailed Tommy's christmas present, I kind of lied about the contents, and stupidly wrote "merry christmas" on the outside. Now all the Argentines know it has presents in it. So we'll just assume another lovely person in Argentina is getting kid drawings and other such necessities. ooops?
~ Malls/stores are fantastic places to render service : )
~ I've been dreaming a lot lately, so far nothing particularly good, but it makes for more journal entries.
~ I've learned that being greedy with the redbox is a fast way to lose money.

and urges to purchase and eat ice-cream cones should always be heeded : ) who cares if it's dinner time?

~ I've discovered in the last three days that I really like Ingrid Michaelson.
~ I just finished washing the insides of all the windows in our nook, kitchen, dining room, living room, and entrance.
~ I would have washed the outsides of them too, but it's 31˚ and I was nervous it would freeze + it got dark.
~ I learned that using windex and newspapers to wash windows is a great idea, but it turns your fingers and your mothers yellow rubber gloves black. So don't touch the walls, sinks, or curtains around the windows, or you'll leave a grey spotted trail. like me : )
~ I treated myself to dinner and dessert and light-seeing and a movie on friday because December 4th is one of my favorite days of the year.

~ and light blue, is not the clothing color of the season.
However it is the color of my cousins wedding that I will be a bridesmaid at in 11 days.
wearing something appropriate and light blue that I shall discover before then : )

Merry Christmas

poetry from the past two months:



-----



that shampoo bottle dripped to empty in her wet hand
seconds before she tossed it at the garbage and missed.
minutes before she gave up and yanked my old towel from the rack.
hours before that shampoo residue dried to its edges.
days before she packed every item she could call her own, and left me.
weeks before I found it in the middle of the bathroom floor
having stepped on it for the hundredth time
finally picking up my last piece of her
tossing it at the garbage
and missing.




-----




why is it that the older i get, the more i want to do
nothing.
just climb in bed and begin to sleep
hibernating like a west european hedgehog.
waiting for spring or energy or someone
to tell me I'm old, I don't have to work anymore.
why is it that i'm only 20
and i'm looking forward to retiring
forever.




------





the n stands for noble

dear n. mailman
i understand that this is just your occupation
a way to pay your own bills that call at your own box
these are just white or brown, square items,
directing you to yet another delivery point
another cold sorting in your shivering, squat vehicle
they've grown stale over your days,
letters, pamphlets, dirty magazines or vogue;
grown meaningless as someone else's
fingernail clippings.
You don't know me.
But those small pieces are clippings
of my love,
my joy.
the cargo you carry is priceless
to me.
so please understand the inked papers you carry
are more precious than securing the noon shift for life.
and i'm trusting you greatly to
carry them safely, in your hands
to mine.

-c.m.




------





"sore throats are like
bandaids with holes in them
or ones that don't stick."
-woebegone brother






----





wouldn't it be convenient if we didn't have to pee whenever
the thought entered our minds wouldn't
it be convenient if we just had to sit and
never do menial things again wouldn't
it be less exciting to not need to
move and live and take care of
important things like
peeing.




-----




staring down through stella lane
catching wreaths and trees alight
glistening asphalt, remembering rain,
i didn't think we'd meet today.

though in my mind our paths could cross
my blundering would break our chain,
delicate our secrecy, for we shan't speak
of lovers love, of us for us.

i thought i'd greet this fourth alone
whisper i'd not forgot or lost my love
leave you aligned, a star hung straight,
i'd love you from this lane.

but then there you were not so far
saying words i'm starved to hear
not to me, but in your way,
so i would know you'll meet me there.




-------






my eyes are blue
deep like the northern oceans
thrashing under an angry charcoal sky
they've each a burning core of ebony
melting beneath silver balls of glistening note
to some they say they know something.
maybe.
but mostly they are greedy taking in
and taking up light through gazes
towards golden expectation.


my lips are no good.
unskilled and flawful
they've no idea how to weave out the stories
captured by mind, heart and perception.
stumbling daily on ill-conceived phrases
they wish to resign their post entirely
lost in their graceless beginning
and well aware of more qualified pieces.


my fingers are crooked
only freckled twice,
but bent on experience
and in love with bearing pens,
brushes, pencils.
they know their purpose
and rise to stumble and rise again.
confident enough to continue,
young enough to glimpse their naivete
sturdy with the strength of grasping on.


my feet are imbalanced
but have learned to get along.
they are not used to kicking or gliding
continuing to walk and run up mountains of stairways
certain that carrying forward
needs moments of
standing still.
naturally obliging.


my body works
better than many, although
it is short and small and weaker than others
made of smoothed lumps of clay.
muscles hiding undefined and stubborn.
It deserves harder work and a straighter stance
for being so good and keeping me
from doctors doors,
and safeway pills.


my mind runs more than my legs
in circles, or down ideas winding
questions burning it fuel for always
even in my dreams it brims past bounds
imagining itself everywhere and never seeing
everything it wants to know and hold and keep.
at times it escapes me,
and perhaps before my body is through,
it will leap out a window on a breeze
to catch leave of me crazy.


my heart is best.
it keeps me wise.
soaks in years I haven't lived
sees with eyes more than blue.
my heart is good even in times
when my head hasn't caught up.
making good it intends to do
drawing in people, stop signs, city lights, to keep away
from lonely realizations of being a piece in three
worlds.
but it hides the best of every thing.


Who's me?





------





[poetry slam f.h.e.]

Jeffrey Stewart Lemon
makes you think of citrus yellow,
sour candies, british butlers, fluffy meringue pies,
makes me wish my name drawn out so long
were so poetic and so less white.

---

[shared but written previously]

whisper me winged and whisk me away
for to syphon some sparkles of splendrous sigh
hummed into heart and heaven
to beckon the butterflies flutter of life flight
whisk me and whip me away in this night

whoosh me and rail me in rockets of hail shale
burning to bursting the billows of breaking
lead me with lilies laughing one lovers lost song
tell me tales time has taken from trunks tangled tight
whisk me and warm me till I'm wrestling the night

wring me and bring me to the ring I'll be sling in
past the paths parting, proudly point me and push
high in the helven hopes holding on
brazen me brave strength blind in this blight
warm me and weave me white; I am the night.


------








gently sweeping up the bodies
on the sill where the light comes in
staring perplexities at the delicacy of death
in their wings and poised formations
did they come to this golden place to die
now cold in winters beautiful musk?
or did they when finally beholding suns glory
forget how to fly down from the glass olympus?
so much of the world, they had not seen.
and now in colors faded and yellow
they met me in curls and baggy greys
to be ushered away on a white, damp cloud
fainting of windex
to a cold plastic garbage.
so long winter sun.





------





friday night:
bought 3 movies
1 dollar each
for 24 hours.
watched 1.
saturday early evening:
returned 3 movies
before due time
0 dollars, 0 fines.
saturday late evening:
checked out 2 of 3
original movies, + 1 new
1 dollar each
for 24 hours.
sunday evening:
returned 0 movies,
3 dollars in fines.
watched other 2 movies.
monday evening:
returned 3 movies.
spent 9 dollars + tax
for 4 movies
for 3 days.
I could have planned this better.





------


Hey you!
yes you.
Not to be greedy but
Leave me comments.
Tell me what sucked.
What's good.
What needs a good beating.
How ever am I
going to become
awesome
without your scotch tape,
gum, paper clip, stapler,
chain saw, glued up
constructions of criticism?


Put some clothes on and have fun.

Thought November 3rd

You know those moments when you manage to do something extremely coordinated,

dare I say skillful

such as catching an object just before it falls,

blocking a thrown marshmallow without even looking,

flipping a kiwi skin perfectly onto an annoying mans forehead,


and you think to yourself

I. am. AWESOME.



these are rare moments of joy that I'm sure everyone enjoys.



But what about Jackie Chan?



He has to be a different story

because I am pretty sure he is awesome, coordinated AND skillful all the time.

Does his awesomeness still cause him to pause and laugh "Ha! That was cool!" ?


or does he just slide down buildings

jump up fences

float across floors in push-up position


and think

'now where did I put my wallet last night?'



I was just wondering.

seeing as how I was just chowing down on a plate of mexican food
and my fork started to slip
and I thought I'd just do a fancy flick of the wrist
and pop it up in my hand again

but instead I managed to flip it out of my hand and into the air

where it did a 360˚

and landed squatly

in mis arroz y frijoles.


Ay Yi Yi.

jackie chan probably stopped having these moments of uncoolness when he was three.

Some Truths

You know that moment sometimes creeps up on you when you're in a group of at least three people,
who obviously aren't your best of best friends,
and you say something without thinking,
and one person throws it back at you like undesirable cabbage
and you realize 'oh, that may not have been the smartest thing to say'
but being a prideful human,
you try to save face for a minute
by blowing it off
or sticking up for your idiot self
or distracting the attacker by presenting them with something stupid they've done recently

but then another person joins in
not on your side of course
after all, you are the idiot/possible jerk in this scenario
and no matter how you may try to get around it
you shouldn't have said what you did

inevitably, within seconds, someone else jumps in
also not on your side
and you know the battle has been lost
you can feel an unwanted blush warm your face
and you try as hastily as possible to concede your inaccuracy
bow out gracefully
unload the swift, undesirable attention

but the people around you are still so shocked at what you've blundered out,
that they feel the need to jab you a few more times
kick ya while you're down
in new, slightly more creative ways

and you kind of wish you could get mad at them
say 'get over it already!'
but you know,
they aren't in the mood for your attitude on top of your stupidity.

so you sit there trying to seep your 'cool' back into your veins
keeping quiet for a while
like a scared rabbit among blood hounds

I hate that.



-

You know that millisecond right after you see one of your friends
or possibly a small cat
get hurt

not in a terribly serious sort of way,
but in a smacked in the face,
fell off a chair,
ran into a wall
sort of way.

and you feel bad
because
well gee that probably hurt.

but man, for some reason it is just fantastically

hilarious.

and you can't help but laugh
for a really
ridiculously long time

because the more you think about it,
the more you can see it playing over and over in your head:
the funnier it gets.

and they don't believe you feel badly for them at all

because,
well you are still laughing when you say
"oh.. I'm so so...rry that happen...ed to you, ....are you ok?"

but you really DO feel bad.



I do that all the time.
I find it insanely funny.


: ) click the smiley for some laughs
--

Poetry for the Naked Apes

Fallowing Pages


I'm sorting my shirts
between the seasons
placing my boy band cd's
in boxes
with robes grown old.
I'm shipping off my
childish trinkets;
broken seashells,
forgotten birthday cards,
journals never written in,
phonebooks glittering and empty.
I'm packing away
the stuffed mammal faces
whose fur are well-loved,
worn shaggy and thin.
I'm hanging new coats
donning cozy, warm sweaters
boxers and glasses
sipping cider
barefoot in my downy bed.
Tipping the brim of 20,
saying good morning to newspapers
and novels thick with intellect.
Not minding the transition
the newest mirror image reminds.
Growing up finally fitting
as a stage to last.






------




Mover




I've never raised my middle finger
to a person
or an establishment
or a cause.
I've never hated so terribly that
my tongue has run foul.
I do dream of love.
I hold respect for our government.
Imperfect as it is.
I know I am nothing
because I know there is a God.
And in Him lies our greatest possibility.
I have hope in my heart.
I want to be a mother.
I walk down streets in cities and towns
and see souls in the bodies
of beggars,
beauty in the writings stained
on cement walls.
I honor my parents.
I bake, and clean,
and change my own tires.
I look forward to breathing in
the stories of my elders,
rejoicing in their lives
past and present.
I giggle.
I do not use my pen to kill,
to uproot or destroy.
I write to coax dew onto mornings,
smile creases into faces.
Drawing minds to blossom
not to a grinding stone.
If that makes me soft.
If that makes me cliche.
If that makes me conformist,
Wrap me up
ship me out
Give every body in this land
the choice to open me up
and vote.

Maybe they could do
with a bit of joy.
Maybe being happy
is not being blind.
Maybe it is a greater work
to abdicate anger.
Maybe understanding is more
than knowledge plus attitude.
Maybe this 'black soul'
that you love so much
that you've deemed so rich,
could use a couple angel tears
to loose the grime,
and slip in a little light.




----

I'm not one to PMS into an insane rage

But I am a girl.

and sometimes during weeks such as these,

I just want to lie in bed all day long

watch t.v. shows,

and eat breakfast foods magically prepared by someone other than myself.



And occasionally,

I just want to cry.

Because all of a sudden it feels like the world is absolutely terrible,

and every thing is going wrong.

And then I realize,

my life is great

and crying as if it isn't simply doesn't make any sense.



Boys wonder why they don't understand girls.

But the truth is, girls don't even understand girls sometimes.

And I'll be the first to admit,

being a spirit in an occasional emotionally insane body,

can be a little scary and annoying.



happy thursday everybody.

I Battled a Cup of Milk Before Church This Morning

Let me just cut to the chase and tell you: I lost.


How?

I tipped it off the top shelf of the frigidaire in my haste to obtain cinnamon rolls.

It instantly whitewashed every shelf below it,

plunged into everything within six inches of each shelf's edge,

(including a still liquid, raspberry-blue jello)

created a four foot fan out across the kitchen floor,

and spat on me

from the tips of my hair,

all the way

d
o
w
n

to

my shoe-covered toes.



I did not get to singles ward for sacrament.
Why?
Because that is 20 minutes away
and my home ward is only 2 minutes.
Cleaning up the milk's aftermath ate too many minutes.

I lost to the milk, but I still managed to shove a cinnamon roll into my newly outfitted self.

Not a complete defeat : )


p.s. milky jello is not such a bad thing. Especially when you put whipped cream on top.


-------


My Brother is a Piano Playing Genius




If you don't know by now, my brother is 16. His name is Derek.

And he is a piano playing genius.

Today he was supposed to play a hymnal medley in sacrament.

He forgot until last night when my mother reminded him.

I went to bed listening to him playing through possibilities.

Today we are sitting in church and they announce the next few items on the program.

A speaker, and then a musical number by Derek.

I look over at him, smiling,

I was about to ask him what the hymns were going to be when he picks up a hymnal and says

'now I need to pick out what I'm playing'

I know he is not joking.
It shouldn't have, but my jaw dropped open a little bit.

I've seen him do this many times.
Forget or procrastinate planning for something he's been asked to do,
and then finding himself needing to pull something musical and amazing out of thin air.

Within 5 minutes he had found a blue piece of paper,
and a pencil,
and written down the names of four songs,
in the order he would play them in.

Some of them not hymns, but songs from animated church movies.

In which case he just wrote the name of the movie it played in.

10 minutes later the speaker sat down,

Derek got up,

placed his blue sheet on the pianos' music stand,

and played a truly beautiful and amazing medley that brought the spirit strongly into the room, and hearts of the congregation.

I didn't know whether to cry,
or laugh in amazement at what he was pulling off with such brilliant success.

I can't wait to read all of the similar stories I know he will write home while he's on his mission, where coming up with talks and musical numbers on the spot is a common occurrence : )




-----



After Church (and then choir) I Set Sail in my Jeep



I was homeward bound and plunging home under the yellowing leaves of fall.

I sped up a bit to the crescendoing notes of Mozart's 22nd Piano Concerto,

carving beautifully around a corner,

and past a yawning mexican on a park bench.

I laughed at the classical station man who rants reverently about all music classic.

Happy because:

I got to hear him verbally idolize mozart.

I talked to and met more people at church,

I found out Lemon's middle name is STEWART,

I sang in choir,

and I knew I was bounding home to family and pot roast : )

Absolute Adorations

All in one day : )


~ waking up early, showering and GETTING OUT OF THE HOUSE

~ that feeling of pure bodily joy that happens right after you've been active/working out.
Strangely enough, always makes me want desserts with chocolate in them.
Reason number three of why I enjoy drinking milkshakes while working out.
But today, I RESISTED! So maybe I'm even happier : )


~ slipping on rough and prickly gloves that smell strongly of dirt,
picking up a rake,
hoisting some buckets onto your shoulder,
and setting off across the yard.

It feels so right : )


~ eating tuna cheese melts stuffed with: lettuce, pickles, and tomatoes.
especially amazing when you've been active and hungry for hours.
and your hands finally feel clean : )
so good!


~ feeling full and drowsy at 2:30 pm and realizing,
not only are you already in your bed,
but this is the normal time when normal people take naps!
AND YOU HAVE TIME TO TAKE ONE!

so you do : )


~ falling asleep for your nap
feeling warm
and cozy
and knowing:

you are going to eat a cinnamon roll when you wake up : )


It doesn't get much better than this : )

I even read the Book of Mormon this morning : )

yep.

all of it.


just kidding... : )